BuzzFrenzied

The Nordic Diet: Perfect For An Impending Blizzard

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For those of you about to be snowed in for the next three days: BLESS. For those of you who will have to hear about it on all forms of social media unless by some miracle the servers freeze and are destroyed as a result of the impending snowpocalypse: double BLESS. What better time, then, […]

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5 Stages of Grief That Come With Buying A Skinny Mirror

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Skinny Mirror [skin-ee mir-er] noun. •    A mirror that’s surface is slightly bent at an angle that causes the reflected image to appear elongated and/or horizontally compressed. •    A mirror that makes you look skinnier than you actually are (duh) •    Ex: Retailers use skinny mirrors in fitting rooms to get you to buy more clothes […]

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Red Wine Can Help You Lose Weight, Proving God Exists

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Everyone always says that your wedding and having your first kid are the best days of your life, but those people are fucking stupid because this day is much more monumental. Scientists, yes actual fucking scientists, have concluded that grapes, AKA wine because grapes are irrelevant otherwise, can help you lose weight. This is what […]

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Things That Happen When A Betch Goes On A Diet

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There’s a point in every betch’s life when she realizes she really needs to lose weight, on top of the 3 pounds she’s constantly “trying to lose.” After deciding she needs to lose her (non-existent) love handles, a betch's weight loss process usually goes down like this: Stage 1: The Announcement The attention-seeking betch will […]

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